I started my thesis on 1 November 2021. So I have been working on it for 3 months now. This article is my little update on these 3 months. I share my personal feelings, positive and less positive.
Stress and time management
I have already noticed that I don't handle stress very well. I often, if not always, feel sick to my stomach. Sometimes I wake up in the morning in a panic and stay in bed for an hour, doing "nothing", thinking about all the things I have to do/think/learn and repeating to myself that I don't want to go. Fortunately, this does not happen very often! It would be very problematic otherwise! In fact, I think that if it happened more often, I would stop. I don't think that work should be a pain. Even if I spend most of my time at work, I want it to be meaningful and rewarding.
I am lucky to work in a caring team where I often laugh. This motivates me and makes me happy. I can't wait for the almost systematic teleworking to be abolished so that I can see my colleagues and create this emulation on a daily basis!
I also read a lot about stress, its roots and its consequences. Here is a small list of articles that have made sense to me (in French):
After reading it, it seems obvious to me that I should start working out, do activities that release my emotional overload, eat well and take care of myself. It may be innate or obvious to many of you (and that's great!), but I don't do it ^^'.
I also spoke to a friend in her third (and final) year of her thesis. She also strongly recommended that I take regular (real) holidays and organise weekends to get away. She confided in me that, caught up in her thesis, she didn't particularly do this. When she started her third year, she was on the verge of burn-out... Since then, she no longer works late every evening or weekend. She takes holidays where she has a real break (not even a quick email check) and sees her friends again (even if it's often virtual). She told me that it does her a lot of good and that she finds a better balance between work and life.
Based on this testimony, I try to organise at least one weekend getaway per month. I also stopped working on weekends and I sleep! I even take naps sometimes haha. Sleep is essential to be in shape and to assimilate all the new knowledge. I knew it, I used to do it, but I forgot...
I note the importance of letting go (which I don't know how to do yet). I think it's important to talk about what's left to do ^^'. I feel bad sometimes when I read articles or blogs about people who are doing too well and letting go, etc., while I'm struggling (although I'm still grateful for the information they share)! So I'm giving you a little testimony from a person who is learning from afar ;).
Relationship to Time
I find that I have all the difficulties in the world to project myself. I think that my relationship with time has not only been disrupted by the thesis but also by the covid19 crisis which has been raging for two years now.
It is true that for the past 2 years, with the perpetual changes in behaviour to adopt, the succession of confinement-deconfinement, the democratisation of teleworking, the closing/opening of borders, the limitations on travel, the restrictions on going out, etc., I have become accustomed to staying alone (or almost) at home. I hardly go out. I find it very difficult to imagine that I can go out and see people. I often feel lonely and as soon as an idea emerges in my head, it is automatically aborted...
This is problematic for my mental health, well-being and impacts on my work. The thesis is a project that changes so quickly! From one week to the next, the ideas and projections I may have had change completely due to the accumulation of knowledge. It is very enriching and also confusing.
For the moment, projecting myself makes me very anxious. So I take it slow, one step at a time, as I feel it. When I feel good, I plan my weekend getaway for the next month, for example.
Objectives
So, to date, my goals are the following:
Take care of myself and my home
Reconnect with friends and new acquaintances in real life (not virtual)
Continue my work on stress and anxiety
To do activities that release my emotional discharge (sport, painting, singing, cooking, laughing)
Take my time, be gentle with me, and regain my confidence
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